My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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