Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
