Define "chronic" masturbator.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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