my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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