I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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