she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
