no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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