How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
