why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
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I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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