i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
