I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
