I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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