It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
