i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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