So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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