he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
