yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
