He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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