Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize