On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
