well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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