i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
