so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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