did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
