OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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