Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
