Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
