I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
