I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
