Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
