just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize