sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
