ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
