I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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