I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
