did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
