I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
