ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
