there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
