Pappa wants mamma naked
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
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But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think I just sharted jello shots
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