no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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