guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You pole danced in your parka.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
