This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
