I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
