i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
