Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
