You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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