Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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