Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.