It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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