I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
