OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
