Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize