I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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