Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
