Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
