No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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