did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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