I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
