I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
